An RP blog for Doctor Kenzo Tenma from Naoki Urasawa's Monster. Potentially NSFW!

Note: 99% sure this blog has lots of homo BL stuff. If that's not your thing you may want to turn 360° and sprint moonwalk away. this is an incredibly serious blog

 

Münster (Tenma!)

wolfgang-grimmer:

doktortenma:

//When Grimmer reciprocates his hold, he expects to see a smile on the other man’s face and is mildly surprised when he doesn’t. All evening something seemed to weigh heavily on his companion’s mind and as time went on it became more and more apparent. Was this a conscious decision on his part? The other man rises rather suddenly.//

Oh? //He gives Grimmer his undivided attention and turns in his direction, knocking his knee against his. The instant Tenma sees the thin envelope, he understands what he is seeing. As the other man goes into detail over the contents of the CD, he gives a pleased, reassuring smile, genuinely happy that the other man trusted him enough to share this information with him.

//In the small interim of silence that follows, Tenma places a hand on the other man’s shoulder and rubs.

//He thinks perhaps he could say some sort of congratulations but the mood is devoid of celebratory feelings. Remembering is a good thing, he understands but it’s also hard. The way Grimmer describes his psychiatrist’s mood is foreboding. Whatever might be on that CD must not be very pleasant and that knowledge must have put a great deal of fear into the other man. Grimmer is scared.

//When the other man holds out the disc in his direction, he wonders if he should take it. With both hands, he does so and holds it very carefully.

//Parting his lips, he’s taken aback by the other man’s request — not only to hold onto to it but to actually listen to it. Glancing down at the enveloped CD, he also fingers at its edges. Out of some bizarre knee-jerk reaction sort of modesty, he thinks to decline, but it seems Grimmer came to this decision with great difficulty. Knowing the other man, if at all possible he would deal with this on his own if he could. Coming to Tenma like this likely meant there was no other choice.

It’s not strange at all. //Tenma smiles softly.// I’ll do it. I’ll listen to it. And, if you want, perhaps we could even listen to it together. I can also lend you my portable CD-player if you should decide.

//Placing the CD on the empty coffee table in front of them, he takes the other man’s hand and holds it firmly between both of his.// Thank you for trusting me. Do you want me to tell you what’s on the CD? Write it down maybe?

//He drops one of his hands, experimentally slides the other up his forearm and leans forward, hinting at an embrace.//

Yes, I think…writing it down— at least, the process, or something. Details aren’t necessary…once I’ve looked it over, I can hear for myself.

//Tenma hand on his forearm is warm, even through the fabric of his sweater. He takes a few seconds to think how he should respond, before leaning in closer, allowing his companion’s arms to wrap round his body firmly. Hiding his face against Tenma’s clavicle, his own hands come up under and grasp at the smaller man’s back. He breathes in the scent of the clinic: a mix of disinfectant, soap, and fresh bandages, mingling with Tenma’s sweat, and what may be deodorant. Hard to say; it might be after shave, too, or cologne.

//Fingers lightly smooth over the back of Grimmer’s neck and hair, a sensation he enjoys very much. It gave him a feeling of comfort that is vaguely familiar, yet no memory comes to mind. In response to such an affectionate gesture, Grimmer turns his face to Tenma’s neck , pressing his lips against the warm skin in a gentle kiss of thanks.

//When he does pull away, Grimmer is a little flushed and a lopsided smile has emerged. Although he isn’t entirely free of concern and fear, it has lightened somewhat. He says, his voice almost cheerful,//

Now…I feel a bit hungry, don’t you? //His bag, which has fallen out of his lap and onto the floor, is retrieved, and out comes a brown paper bag containing hours old Brötchen, and packets of jam.//

This was from breakfast, but I couldn’t eat everything…I saved some for you. //The smile grows.// If you have a bit of Mettwurst and butter, we’d have a nice dinner.

Then I’ll write it down. //Closing his eyes, his arms come around Grimmer’s upper body and pull him closer, the breadth of his shoulders readily apparent as he curls toward him like a child. Despite the other man’s age and size, he expressed this childlike demeanor that came about most acutely in moments like these. He smells very much like a man however. An awfully sweet one. The kiss to Tenma’s neck quickly scatters his thought process and his face goes hot.

//When they part, Tenma bashfully tugs at his shirt and smiles, perspiring a bit.// —Yes! Yes, I am hungry. //He says it with more enthusiasm than really needed, although he is indeed hungry.

//When Grimmer takes out the paper bag with the bread and jam, Tenma is for some reason a bit astonished; this whole time he had been carrying their dinner. Though, upon their first meeting, he was also quite astonished when the other man pulled out an entire picnic by the Czech border.

//He rises, smiling genuinely from the thought.// I don’t have Mettwurst but I do have salami and butter.

//Taking the bag, he quickly clears the kitchen table of the boxes, setting them to the side, and takes out two non-matching plates from a nondescript box. One plate is clearly larger while the other looks to be a saucer missing its cup. Tenma intends to take the small one and heads off into the kitchen to get the butter and the meat.// Would you like a glass of wine, Mr. Grimmer? Or would you like some juice? I have apple, grape, orange…

Münster (Tenma!)

wolfgang-grimmer:

doktortenma:

//He also sips.// It’s a thought I’ve had since I left but it won’t be anytime soon.

//Clutching his glass, he drinks the rest of his water and sets it down before taking a seat next to Grimmer. Folding his arms across his waist, he leans back and lets himself sink to the couch as the other man’s hands smudge against his thighs, agitating the wrinkles in his slacks. His bright, shining smile has dulled considerably; his exhaustion is much more visible.

//There is an urge to touch him — embrace or some sort of compassionate touch — but he wonders who would really benefit. Feeling the other man’s eyes on him, he looks back at him with a gentle smile. Seeing the red in his eyes more acutely compels him but he fingers at his own slacks instead. Grimmer looks like he’s about to say something.//

I do… I remember that. //He smiles alongside Grimmer, feeling his own face go warm.// We should definitely make plans and make it more than just talk. Perhaps we could go on a weekend or during one of Dieter’s holidays. Sit down to a nice view too and bring our favorite foods. //Tenma’s voice softens as he speaks. Being in the other man’s presence brought that about naturally.

//Even though Grimmer was the same person with all of the same mannerisms, how could it be that something as simple as the way he carried his voice when he was tired or the micro-gestures he made when anxious could now reach deep down inside of him? Illuminating places he never really thought to exist? Having been a neurosurgeon, he could identify where those feelings came from with objectivity yet that could never truly be — like an exercise of looking at one’s self in the mirror.

//The slight brush of Grimmer’s fingers does not go unnoticed. Moving slowly, his fingers crawl over and under Grimmer’s hand, tentatively gracing its interior. Just that brings relief. He curls his fingers and licks his lips. He looks at the other man with a modest smile.// Is… there something on your mind?

//Grimmer does not respond immediately. His gaze falls from Tenma’s face to their joined hands; he grasps Tenma’s more firmly, and presses it for a moment.

//When he brings his eyes to Tenma’s again, Grimmer does not smile, but seems to have gained some sort of reassurance. He lets go of Tenma’s hand, and tells him,//

There is something, actually. //Standing abruptly, he retrieves his bag from the armchair in which he’d placed it, and returns to the sofa, sitting down again so as to face his companion. His left knee bumps against Tenma’s. Unfastening the straps, he begins to rummage carefully through it, speaking in a distracted tone all the while.//

You know today I went to see the doctor (here, he uses the more common Arzt, rather than Doktor— for one reason or another, Grimmer seems to use the latter title only when referring to Tenma), the psychiatrist. I’ve been seeing him for several months, and today…he gave me something.

//At this point Grimmer has located whatever it is; closing the flap on his bag, he holds in one hand a small, square envelope. There appears to be something within, resembling a flat circle. He glances at himself, before returning his attention to the other man.//

This is a CD-R he made, of the sessions in which hypnosis was applied. I can’t remember anything from those times at all, only that I would wake up feeling very ill, or in a great deal of mental distress. //He lowers the disk and holds it with both hands, peering at it as if to memorize the indentations for his fingertips.//

Today, we did not do that. Instead, it consisted of banalities and questions about the medications I take. More interesting, though, was how the psychiatrist behaved…very silent, a serious expression I couldn’t place. After we’d talked over my current state, he smiled and handed this to me, saying: “When you feel more stable, when you’re in a calm mood, you may want to listen to these. Our sessions are on this disc. I think it’s important that you know, too. I’ve been waiting to give this to you, until I felt you were recovered enough to handle it. You’ve been doing so much better lately, I believe you can, and in our next session we can discuss some of what happened to you. After hearing this, you may remember more.”

//Grimmer is silent for several minutes, smoothing his thumbs along the edges of the envelope, before looking up, and holding it out to Tenma.//

I…I don’t think I’m ready for this quite yet. //A small smile.// At any rate, I don’t own an audio device which I could play it on, either. //Earnestly, with some hesitation— his voice is steady, however://

I want you to have this. I can’t…can’t listen to it just now. But, I thought…if you wouldn’t mind, if it’s no trouble to you— perhaps you could listen to this for me. Back then, I couldn’t listen to anymore.//He seems to be alluding to the tape with Johan’s voice on it.// We tried, but I felt sick, and asked Jan to stop the recording. And then, we never did hear the rest.

//Shaking his head, he continues,//

If you know what is on this disc, it might help me to feel less— less afraid, I guess. And I might be able to listen too, at some point.

This probably all sounds very strange, but…//Grimmer carefully scrutinizes Tenma’s expression, attempting to read into it.//

…But, I trust you, Tenma, that’s why I am asking you. I can’t…do this alone.

//When Grimmer reciprocates his hold, he expects to see a smile on the other man’s face and is mildly surprised when he doesn’t. All evening something seemed to weigh heavily on his companion’s mind and as time went on it became more and more apparent. Was this a conscious decision on his part? The other man rises rather suddenly.//

Oh? //He gives Grimmer his undivided attention and turns in his direction, knocking his knee against his. The instant Tenma sees the thin envelope, he understands what he is seeing. As the other man goes into detail over the contents of the CD, he gives a pleased, reassuring smile, genuinely happy that the other man trusted him enough to share this information with him.

//In the small interim of silence that follows, Tenma places a hand on the other man’s shoulder and rubs.

//He thinks perhaps he could say some sort of congratulations but the mood is devoid of celebratory feelings. Remembering is a good thing, he understands but it’s also hard. The way Grimmer describes his psychiatrist’s mood is foreboding. Whatever might be on that CD must not be very pleasant and that knowledge must have put a great deal of fear into the other man. Grimmer is scared.

//When the other man holds out the disc in his direction, he wonders if he should take it. With both hands, he does so and holds it very carefully.

//Parting his lips, he’s taken aback by the other man’s request — not only to hold onto to it but to actually listen to it. Glancing down at the enveloped CD, he also fingers at its edges. Out of some bizarre knee-jerk reaction sort of modesty, he thinks to decline, but it seems Grimmer came to this decision with great difficulty. Knowing the other man, if at all possible he would deal with this on his own if he could. Coming to Tenma like this likely meant there was no other choice.

It’s not strange at all. //Tenma smiles softly.// I’ll do it. I’ll listen to it. And, if you want, perhaps we could even listen to it together. I can also lend you my portable CD-player if you should decide.

//Placing the CD on the empty coffee table in front of them, he takes the other man’s hand and holds it firmly between both of his.// Thank you for trusting me. Do you want me to tell you what’s on the CD? Write it down maybe?

//He drops one of his hands, experimentally slides the other up his forearm and leans forward, hinting at an embrace.//

Anonymous asked
*touches your butt* soft.... *touches MY butt* yuck... it's all bone ;_;

Anonymous asked
doktor tenma you're gay lol. no wonder you didnt hit on my sister LOL xd... Signed, Johan ^____^

//Attempts to say something for a second but ends up not saying anything at all.//

Anonymous asked
i wuv you tenma xxxxx

maga-tan asked
Hey Tenma... my dear Tenma... I am a long time fan of you, didn't think you had the time and will to answer questions from regular 3D people, I somehow feel like we can become closer this way... I am kind in a loss of words now... I would like to know how would you solve, in a what-if scenario, your biggest problem was being chased by a devotee like me? Would you simply ignore me and let me turn into another villain you'd had the urge to kill? Would you accept my unconditional love for you?

Of course, love isn’t finite.

Münster (Tenma!)

wolfgang-grimmer:

doktortenma:

//Before stepping into the kitchen, Tenma rummages through one of the boxes on his kitchen table and plucks out two small glasses, never used, and quickly gives them a rinse. Pleased by the other man’s curiosity, his eyes follow him as he traverses the flat; he blushes when he’s caught, returning his focus to their drinks.

//Stepping behind him, he hands Grimmer a glass of water and takes a sip from his own, also water.// Thank you. Glad you approve. //He smiles and glances out one of the windows, focusing on a source of light before looking back at the other man.// Higher up in the ranks?

Yeah, I haven’t really sat down and made it up like a home. //He looks back out again.// I guess it’s just that I don’t know how long I’ll stay here.

//He quickly corrects himself.// —I was thinking of searching for a smaller space. It’ll be a while before I consider going abroad again. //Almost sheepishly, Tenma’s gaze falls onto his glass. He sure was coming off very transparently.//

Oh, you will go abroad again? //A sip of water.//

But there’s really nothing wrong with having plenty of space. It’s better than being cramped. Up here, you have a certain amount of privacy as well. //Smiling, before drinking the remainder in his glass, tapping the sides gently with his finger tips when finished.// I must have been very thirsty. Thank you for that.

Is it all right if I sit down? //He motions to the sofa with his hand, taking a seat after Tenma nods; his companion joins him. Grimmer takes a moment to stretch out his long, weary legs, rubbing the tops of his thighs slowly with his palms.

//Now that they are quite alone, the exhaustion and emotional upheaval from the day seems to seep out in his movements, appearing sluggish and weighted down. Still pale even after their walk, the redness in his eyes is much more clear, and his voice sounds ragged. Nevertheless, Grimmer wears his old smile just as he always does—yet, rather than masking his emotions, as it used to do, this manufactured expression becomes an obvious sign of distress or anxiousness. One who did not know him might see it at face value, but to Tenma, who has seen glimpses of a real smile on those thin, chewed lips…

//Exuding a lengthy sigh, he falls back into the sofa, turning his head to look at Tenma. It seems he wants to ask something, and is thinking it over. In fact, there is much he wishes to know about his companion, about the life he’s living. Softly,//

Do you remember? In Ruhenheim. You said we’d have a nice picnic, on a sunny day. With Wim, but I haven’t been able to find out where he and his father moved. Perhaps we could bring your friend, Dieter, instead. I’d like to know him.

We could do that, couldn’t we? Sometime. //A lopsided, more genuine smile emerges, his eyes darting back and forth to read Tenma’s reaction. Being so close like this again brings back the feelings from months before— the rush of his heartbeat, the warmth gathering in his body. Absently, he touches Tenma’s knee with the edge of his fingers, smoothing over the pant leg.

//He also sips.// It’s a thought I’ve had since I left but it won’t be anytime soon.

//Clutching his glass, he drinks the rest of his water and sets it down before taking a seat next to Grimmer. Folding his arms across his waist, he leans back and lets himself sink to the couch as the other man’s hands smudge against his thighs, agitating the wrinkles in his slacks. His bright, shining smile has dulled considerably; his exhaustion is much more visible.

//There is an urge to touch him — embrace or some sort of compassionate touch — but he wonders who would really benefit. Feeling the other man’s eyes on him, he looks back at him with a gentle smile. Seeing the red in his eyes more acutely compels him but he fingers at his own slacks instead. Grimmer looks like he’s about to say something.//

I do… I remember that. //He smiles alongside Grimmer, feeling his own face go warm.// We should definitely make plans and make it more than just talk. Perhaps we could go on a weekend or during one of Dieter’s holidays. Sit down to a nice view too and bring our favorite foods. //Tenma’s voice softens as he speaks. Being in the other man’s presence brought that about naturally.

//Even though Grimmer was the same person with all of the same mannerisms, how could it be that something as simple as the way he carried his voice when he was tired or the micro-gestures he made when anxious could now reach deep down inside of him? Illuminating places he never really thought to exist? Having been a neurosurgeon, he could identify where those feelings came from with objectivity yet that could never truly be — like an exercise of looking at one’s self in the mirror.

//The slight brush of Grimmer’s fingers does not go unnoticed. Moving slowly, his fingers crawl over and under Grimmer’s hand, tentatively gracing its interior. Just that brings relief. He curls his fingers and licks his lips. He looks at the other man with a modest smile.// Is… there something on your mind?

Münster (Tenma!)

wolfgang-grimmer:

doktortenma:

//Tenma looks up at the building and then at his companion with a look that says ‘this is it’. Bricked, it is four storeys tall and flanked with large windows and greenery that gave it the appearance of an office building.// My apartment is on the topmost floor.

//Smiling, he guides his bike to a roofed bike rack disguised by tall shrubbery. Grimmer follows him and he thinks maybe he should tell him to go on up since the entrance is unlocked but he doesn’t bring himself to. Fastening his bike to the rack, he realizes that they both have a good deal of privacy now — the most they’ve had all day.

//However, that soon ends when he hears footsteps treading softly behind him. Gathering his things, he slings them over his shoulder, glances at Grimmer in affirmation and heads back over the path, passing by a young man in cycling clothes. Both Tenma and the man acknowledge each other.

//Once they enter the building, and begin traversing up the flight of stairs, Tenma speaks.// One of the neighbors. Cyclist. //Halfway to the third floor, he sees that the other man is a few steps behind him, so he stops and waits. When Grimmer is next to him, he places a hand between his shoulder blades and gives a little pat and a rub. He leaves it there, palm flat, and drops it moments later not sure if it’s all right. It felt nice.

//At the door to his apartment now, he unlocks the door with a yawn and directs Grimmer inside before him. As Tenma has told him previously, it’s on the uppermost floor so the ceiling is tall and slanted. His walls are white, sectioned off with wood trim, and the floor is pieced together by faux-wood linoleum tile. There are three rooms in the apartment: the living area/kitchen, his bedroom and the bathroom, the last of which possessed a door. The essentials are there: bed, dresser, stove, etc. The busiest parts of his room are the bookshelf, the kitchen table stacked with unopened boxes (mostly of kitchenware), and a thick wooden column in the living area tacked with postcards. For the most part, however, the apartment looks yet to be lived in. Tenma steps in after Grimmer and closes the door with a soft click.//

What do you think? It’s a little bigger than I need… //He clears his throat, maintaining his distance out of respect.// Thirsty?

//Nodding an affirmative, he watches as Tenma makes his way to the kitchen. He removes his shoes thoughtfully by the door, careful to push them out of the way, neatly aligned with the wall. Straightening up, Grimmer steps into the open living area and looks up with a smile.//

There’s lots of space…I can stand up without having to slouch! //His voice, though tired, sounds enthusiastic as he points upward and turns in the direction of the kitchen. Tenma is peeping at him from behind the island, and when they make eye contact Grimmer sees his companion blush and awkwardly grin.

//To alleviate some of the tension, he directs his attention elsewhere, taking in the emptiness, the unadorned white walls, the windows with no curtains or blinds of any sort to filter out the remaining evening light, or the streetlamps below. There is a good view of the university from here, as well as what appears to be a small park, other apartments, and some shops.

//Setting his bag down silently on an armchair, he says, offhandedly,//

This is the kind of flat someone high up in the ranks would have had…//Hearing Tenma’s footsteps behind him, he looks over his shoulder and smiles.// I like your place. Seems you’re still acclimating, though.

//Before stepping into the kitchen, Tenma rummages through one of the boxes on his kitchen table and plucks out two small glasses, never used, and quickly gives them a rinse. Pleased by the other man’s curiosity, his eyes follow him as he traverses the flat; he blushes when he’s caught, returning his focus to their drinks.

//Stepping behind him, he hands Grimmer a glass of water and takes a sip from his own, also water.// Thank you. Glad you approve. //He smiles and glances out one of the windows, focusing on a source of light before looking back at the other man.// Higher up in the ranks?

Yeah, I haven’t really sat down and made it up like a home. //He looks back out again.// I guess it’s just that I don’t know how long I’ll stay here.

//He quickly corrects himself.// —I was thinking of searching for a smaller space. It’ll be a while before I consider going abroad again. //Almost sheepishly, Tenma’s gaze falls onto his glass. He sure was coming off very transparently.//

xxjakemillerrp asked
"Um, sup there, sir." I said, smiling up at the older guy. "Are you from Japan?"

xxjakemillerrp:

doktortenma:

doktortenma:

I am! What can I do you for?

Actually, I forgot to mention, gyudon is a type of donburi. It’s beef on top of rice. Oyakodon is chicken on top of rice, unagidon is eel on top, katsudon is pork, and so on and so on.

image

//Out of a cupboard Tenma plucks out a handful of dark-colored glass bottles by the neck which softly clink as they’re placed on the counter.// Oh… well, I’m a surgeon. I specialize in neurological surgery or… at least I did. It’s been a while since I’ve done it. Maybe half a year. I’m practically a general practitioner now.

//Setting up the rice cooker, he takes out a few other ingredients as well.// What do you do, Jake? Are you doing well in school?


I watched him set the bottles and the other ingredients onto the counter, and smiled,  ”Oh, really? That’s pretty cool. You must’ve worked really hard to save people’s lives, huh? And that’s not too long, I think.” I sat down on a chair, nearby, making myself feel comfortable. “Well, right now I’m on vacation from America. So this is my first time in Germany. And I have been doing pretty good in school the last few months. There’s not much to say about it, really.” I chuckled. “What do I do, you ask? Well, I skateboard. It’s the only thing I’m really good at. I’ve been skating since I was like, six years old.”

Skateboarding, huh? Wonderful. It’s good to have a passion. //Tenma makes a pleased expression as he begins thinly slicing the onion.// I guess you must really love it?

How long are you planning to vacation? Germany is a good place to visit. Walking up and down the streets, it’s a place rich with centuries of history especially within this last one. I’m sure you are much too young to remember when the Berlin Wall fell.//Smiling to himself.// I remember watching it on the news before work.